Wednesday, 28 October 2009

A Halloween Story for You

Mr and Mrs Blearmont

The feud had started when my son lent their son his copy of Harry Potter at school. I had opened the door that evening to Mr and Mrs Blearmont’s furious faces. They had asked me whether my corruption of their boy was intentional or whether I was just stupid? I opted for stupid, which made them even angrier.

This year the children were old enough to go Halloween trick-or-treating on their own, providing they stayed in the cul-de-sac and Will looked after Elspeth. I have to admit I welled up a bit watching Will fix an errant glow-in-the-dark nail back to his little sister’s finger as they left.

When they came back Elspeth was in tears.

“What happened?” I asked in my sternest voice.

“Mr and Mrs Blearmont just went off at us!” said Will, looking injured that I could have thought it was something he’d done. “They started ranting about All Saints’ Day and church and all that gubbins. Said it was a religious day and ‘not for those who seek to profit by witchcraft’.”

I should have warned them not to go to Number 13 but I have to admit I snorted at his excellent impression of Mrs Blearmont. I took their Sainsbury’s bags off them (thoughtful that they made them such a seasonal orange) and led them through to the kitchen where my cauldron was just coming to the boil.

“Now that woman is talking out of her bottom, I’ll have you know,” I said, scooping a cupful of the uplifting potion I had just brewed for each of the children and handing them both a Liquorice Allsort.

“We had Samhain first and they stole it off us with all their goody-two-shoes saints nonsense. They’re just cross that our party was more popular.”

I dried Elspeth’s tears with a flick of my wand and took a Mint Imperial for myself.

Tuesday, 27 October 2009


We've had some new followers to Writer in the Wilderness recently, as well as a few more who subscribe (I'm not sure what that actually means. I think the Piskies give them a nudge when I put a new post up).

So, welcome to you all and thanks for joining me here in my little corner of the blogosphere. There's tea and biscuits in the tins by the kettle, please help yourself.

The picture is of the berries on the Heavenly Bamboo (not a true bamboo, it keeps to itself and doesn't spread like bamboo does) that lives on my balcony. He is looking beautiful at the moment; autumn suits him.

Monday, 26 October 2009


Happy Spooky Season!

To celebrate all things ghoolie and ghostie I have been carving pumpkins as you can see... the bottom right one was supposed to be a scary pig but looks more like a Spanish Civil War ringmaster. Maybe that's scarier.

My flash, Prayer in the Storm, written for their Past-themed Halloween contest, is up at MicroHorror today. Read and enjoy!

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Mrs Aldershott and Pease Pottage

My story, Mrs. Aldershott and Pease Pottage is out now in the November (not October, as previously mentioned!) issue of First Edition Magazine, available from WH Smiths and Borders.

Unfortunately, it is only for sale in Actual Real Paper (ARP) format in the UK but there is a web edition that you can download from the website although (sensibly, perhaps) they still have the October edition up at the moment.

The story tells of a Cornish Piskie who has run away from his job loading the internet because he is fed up with all the porn. A chance meeting with a sweet old lady with a crush on Alan Titchmarsh changes his perpective.

As you can imagine, I am excited about being in an ARP story magazine and can't wait to see it when it finally finishes its swim across The Pond. Hope it's not too wet.

Nope, that's wrong. I've just been looking at their website and you can order a copy from anywhere in the world but there's no web version. Sorry about that!